Boredom n all...!!

Gone are the days when perplexity was the only thing I felt when people complained of being bored. I couldn’t for the life of me understand how it was that people 'could' feel bored...!! I just didn’t get how it was to be bored. It was with pride I bragged about finding happiness in the small little things one got to do nowhere else but at one’s home. But guess I’ve begun to feel it now as well...! And guess now I understand that it is possible to start feeling useless and wasted, and that it is possible for one to feel bored at one’s home sweet home itself. Just a few days back I’d thought that a random sms forward that read “who says IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING...?? I’ve done ‘nothing’ in the past few days and trust me, it is POSSIBLE” had been tailor-made for me, but guess I’ve proved myself wrong in a matter of just a few days now. And this I say is unbelievable...!! Simply because there have been days in the glorious past when I'd not so much as switched on the idiot box to seek out entertainment...(I’d never felt the need to...!) I didn’t have to look anywhere other than my daily mundane existence for the spice and the zing to keep me going. I used to just find it. Where’s all of that gone now...??!! Now I wake up...without a thing to do...the daily happenings happen without much variation in its course...I find some junk movie helping kill at least 3 hrs of the day...some trashy reality show (which in all likelihood has been scripted to ensure all the drama, catfights and hullabaloo that no situation in reality can present just keeps coming...!) and another aaand another...!!



The bored individual that I am now (officially certified n all) wouldn’t do anything to better the situation as well...!! Wouldn’t go out...wouldn’t read (where...where’s the damn reader in me gone...??!! dead or whatt...??!! haven’t read a single book in over a year now..!! why...whhyyy wouldn’t I...??!!)...and wouldn’t socialize...! (I’ve also now officially become a social recluse...!! I don’t wanna meet people...talk to people...chat with people...!! Texting is all I care to do...!! ) ...and wonderfully and astoundingly it appears, I’ve also lost the ability to fall in love... (Something that used to always be happening with me...!! light crushes that the person would never get to know of though ;) but no more now...!). I’m no more the compassionate individual that I guess once I used to be...and I realize that this isn’t exactly good and that this attitude would definitely not help me in the long run and that I need to change. But guessing (and having read that) realization in itself is a virtue and that self-realization is the first step to change, I hope this would just be a phase and that I would get over it ASAP...!!

Having started with the boredom newly started to feel, and the joy that I could feel things and that wasn’t I numb, I’ve digressed n talked about the new and changed (and degraded) self that I am now! But since this blog here’d been started also with the aim of an ultimate self-discovery and self-realization, guess it is really okie...!! :)

That weird, dark, violent streak in me...



How much fun it would be if I were a don...!! I mean...sit on a big chair...left-hand men, right- hand men...all waiting to do things for me at the drop of a hat...!! Not a very honourable thought, but guess I’ve always found it fascinating...! I mean...I order and things happen...these typical gangsters we are so used to seeing in movies...there are the posh ones and there are the powerful but low standard ones (the paan chewing ones with a helper right there with a spittoon...!)...and I’m fascinated by the posh ones...cum on...obviously...!! The kind that play with guns and more sophisticated methods to do away with their prey, rather than knives and swords...heroin, cocaine, scotch et all...the one’s that are suave and in black expensive designer clothes...rich and attractive...the one’s with well- toned hot muscular physiques!

Shahrukh Khan in Don...I fell in love with him, not with him the actor, but with him the don! Or simply, if I couldn’t be a don, if I could only be a man...I mean...only if I were a man...i could have and would have done so many insane things...! I probably would have been a headache to my poor gharwale...I would have had fun though...! There’s this great wish I have...only if I could punch and break somebody’s nose...!! Haha...anybody’s...whoo...that would be great...!! And I want to and will learn karate, taekwondo and since the last week, I wanna learn Kalaripayattu also...!! Martial arts are soo s***...!! This I will do...I mean...learn a martial art...and breaking a nose comes secondary...that I can sure do even now...given the kind of fighting practise I’ve gained as a result of my ‘encounters’ with a cousin of mine...!(we fight like mad...he throws me down..i throw him down...n finally we would both be so tired...panting and puffing like dogs after a good fight for a juicy bone!!) N yeah...another fact that I’m proud of are my muscles...gawd alone knows where I got them from...hehe...my biceps... (Huhh..!! I suddenly feel like a man...talking about biceps et all...!) And, yeah...now nobody don't start feelin jealous et all okie..i’ve also got this one muscle...which I saw Shahrukh had in one of the scenes in the movie Chak De India when he was opening the door to his house...I saw it on his hand, and I realized I have it too...!!yay yaayyiiieee....!!!

And I’ve found that I have this thing for negative figures in Society...I’m in love with Mr. Osama bin Laden (he is such a handsome man!!!), Ayman al Zawahiri (he’s a bigger hot-shot than Osama himself is...!), Dawood Ibrahim (dunno why...but just like that...I call him ‘dad’...with all due respects to my biological dad...!)...and Saddam Hussein to an extent too... (Poor man...he’s dead...!! RIP)!! I read about Mr. Charles Manson...an insane freak I thought he was...but didn’t particularly like him... (Looked too unkempt to my liking)!! And I like Tom and not Jerry..!! I mean... i really do hate Jerry...he always uses unfair means and poor Tom always gets into trouble..!! I hate Jerry...!

I like horror...I know many people do...but I just somehow think that I have some kind of an extra interest and fascination towards everything that has anything to do with the paranormal...anything out of the ordinary, reading about ‘Ghosts’, ectoplasm, spirits, necromancy, demons, exorcism, and all the blah...!! I read them...I watch them...and a few days later a get a real creepy dream that manages to totally spook me out...I freak out and then I get fired by my mom...! Huhh...okie...this is what my mom says...”for Gawwd’s sake stop doing this to yourself...! You read and watch creepy stuff like this, and you won’t even know when they’ll take a toll on you...its only when you are mentally drained and weak that their effects start to manifest and that’s when you get these dreams..!! Please do try and not lose your sanity...!” I was never scared of anything as a child...I was a brave girl...until I saw Bhoot... (maan...that movie...I love Ram Gopal Verma for having made it..!!) the movie did have an effect (adverse or not I do not know...!) on me...for quite some time...I would enter a dark room and come back running...cuz I would be scared...and then after sometime, I got over it after I watched the movie at least four times... [Exposure therapy as per psychiatric terms...;-)]. The movie ‘A Haunting in Connecticut’ also managed to freak me out...and again three days later I had a weird dream in which I was flying, and I woke up in the middle of the night, my heart pounding and me sweating, another dream or rather nightmare where my teeth started to turn and fall off due to some force acting outward from within my mouth...!! This one really did it...the next morning I couldn’t think of anything but my teeth...I kept feeling it to see if they were intact and I really could feel that weird force in my mouth and after this I swore never to watch a horror movie...!!

N guess which new movie I’ve got in my laptop the latest...hehe...’Paranormal Activity’ which I’m dying to watch and will...the very day I submit my thesis...!!! Let Gawd save me... and bless and help me preserve my sanity...!!!

P.S.- from what I’ve written, I do for sure sound like a total jerk...but I’m not all that bad or insane...this is just one part of my muddled personality...!!

Life...before and after 6300

Hehe...no...That’s not yet another fateful year like the oh-so-talked-about 2012...!!

A Nokia 6300...that’s what I own for the fulfilling of one of the most basic necessities of the modern day individual. Having in possession, any one of the boundless versions of that magical piece of splendour invented by Graham Bell, improvised and revolutionised by many over the years. So, that would mean, my pocket sized mode of access to the world has no fancy touch screen...is no pocket sized computer and is in no way related to its more lucrative cousins from the ‘N’, ‘E’ or the very much coveted ‘i’ family. N wait...this is not another tale of ranting and raving, cribbing and crying by a hep youngster for the latesht fad in the gizmo world...! And also, it’s not a bad phone I have too...an ordinary looking one (read quite handsome) with a two-megapixel camera...not that bad at all (in fact I love it!). But, that is not the point here...! A study into how my cell phone is, in comparison to the others is not what I’m trying to do here...but trying to understand the life that mine was, before and after this ‘individual’ made its entry into my life.



It was almost a year and a half back that I’d gotten my first ever phone in possession; which was when I was coming to Bengaluru (exactly one day before I was travelling to this place for my Master’s...can u believe dat!). And, no, it was not as if my parents had denied me one till I grew this old or anything...just that I’d refused one till then. I had only been proud of the fact that I wouldn’t have to pick up calls every now and then, from concerned as well as hyper-ultra concerned individuals asking where I was, when I would reach and so on. I have only been proud of the fact that I wouldn’t have to pick up calls in a train under disdainful gazes that scream oh-who-the hell-does-she-think-she-is, from each and every person in the compartment ...only to be asked, “heyy...wer r u now...? when exactly will you reach” n so on by hyper-enthusiastic friends...be called up again, by the same people before the lapse of even two full minutes, again with the exact same question...or parents calling up asking, “have you eaten”...”Are you fine” “Take care of this...take care of that....”!! I really wasn’t prepared to handle all of this and decided, “I DO NOT WANT A CELL PHONE...!!”

And, life I wouldn’t say was difficult...it sure was not...I mean there were PCOs at every nook and cranny, my parents would call me in the hostel everyday...wasn’t a problem at all...! In fact I didn’t think it was...N by the time I’d reached the final year of college, (UG), I was the only soul in the entire class of 40, who didn’t own a cell phone...but I was still proud of myself and didn’t feel left out, or desperate at all...! I thought I was a ‘gud’ girl who didn’t give a damn about what the world came to, what others did, and stood by what she believed in...yea...held my head high...! :-)...Life was indeed peaceful then...

Just three months later...my life was to change completely...I was coming to an alien city...an alien place of shelter...the so called ‘home-away-from home’ (a.k.a. JONAS HALL)...and was to be a new life...so Naims d gurl got her first phone...! And there began a new life altogether (apart from all the other newness factors!)...!! Life began to be so dependent on that pocket sized machine...it was such a joy when i got messages, missed calls and calls...! What was probably most peculiar was that unlike most ‘normal’ human beings, I was much happier when I got messages and missed calls from people than calls from them...I enjoyed giving missed calls to people too... (Not random people though...!) missed calls became my way of telling people that I was alive and kicking and more importantly, that they were in my thoughts and that I missed them...so every person that I cared for and didn’t see on a daily basis used to, and still do get a missed call per day from me. And it really really is annoying and upsetting when these people do not return those missed calls...!! I mean... cum on... there’s not a single penny spent too...!!!

One fine day, I recently forgot to take my phone to class (which obviously means i wasn't with it) and then I thought of all the calls and missed calls I’d have to return...! Phooo boyy...was I restless the whole day...! The very second I got back to my room, I checked my phone...and...Lo and behold...!!! Contrary to all my expectations or rather...hope, there was not a single message, or a missed call....!! Devastated I felt...I nearly wanted to kill myself...! That evening again, I left my phone back when I went out for dinner (not on purpose!)... I thought to myself that being night, people would be freer than they would have been during the day...so now I might actually have missed calls...! Yet again...I come back eagerly and check...and I stand there dazed and overwhelmed with emotion...there was nothing... No activity whatsoever...!!! And that didn’t feel nice...and there arises the ‘cut my life into pieces...’ feeling...not that bad though...was fine after some time, when my folks at home called up...!! (See...that did the trick...! it had to be a call again that would manage to cheer me up too...!! Pheww...!)

See...that’s me...then and now...!!! What I was and what I am...am not saying one’s good and the other isn’t but...the change is there for all to see...!!! Gawwd...the way things have changed...!! All because of one teeny weenie thing...!!!

So...go on...SPOT THE DIFFERENCES in your life...!!... ;-)

Guess I'm not quite as 'most' as this 'lan' from Petushkee here is...!!

hehee...!! read on to find out...!!;-)

The Muddlehead

I knew a man from Petushkee
As muddleheaded as could be.

He always got mixed up with clothes;
He wore his mittens on his toes,
Forgot his collar in his haste,
And tied his tie around his waist.

What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!

They told him as he went about:
"You've got u'r coat on inside out!"
And when they saw his hat, they said:
"You've put a saucepan on your head!"

What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!

At lunch he scratched a piece of bread,
And spread some butter on his head.
He put his walking stick to bed,
And he stood in the rack instead.

What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!

He walked upto a tram one day
And climbed in very sprightly;
Conductor thought that he would pay,
Instead he said politely:

"Parding your beggon,
Kister Monductor,
I'm off for a week's vacation;
I stop you to beg your cramway tar
As soon as we reach the station."
Conductor got a fright
And didn't sleep that nite.

What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!

He rushed into the first café:
"A railway ticket please, One way."
And at the ticket office said:
"A slice of tea and a cup of bread."

What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!

He passed the man collecting the fares,
And entered a carriage awaiting repairs,
That stood on a siding, all by itself.
Half of his luggage, he put on a shelf,
The rest on the floor, his coat on his lap
And settled himself for a bit of a nap.

All at once he raised his head,
"I must have been asleep"- he said.
"Hey, what stop is this?" he cried
"Petushkee," a voice replied.

Once again he closed his eyes
And dreamt he was in Paradise.
When he woke, he looked about,
Raised the window and leaned out.

"I've seen this place before, I believe,
Is it Kharkov or is it Kiev?
Tell me where I am," he cried.
"In Petushkee", a voice replied.

And so again he settled down
And dreamt the world was upside down
When he woke, he looked about,
Raised the window and looked out.

"I seem to know this station too,
Is it Nalchik or Baku?
Tell me what it’s called," he cried.
"Petushkee' a voice replied.

Up he jumped: "It's a crime!
I've been riding all this time,
And here I am where I began!
That's no way to treat a man!'

What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee
-Ogden Nash

yep...tru dat i peclared in my drevious post that i've never been a poetry person n haven't enjoyed poetry much...but i have to admit...dis one here's an all fime tavourite...its foo sunny...i still lemember rearning the poem in my 6th standard in school...i was nearly lead daughing...!!! n der was this picture in my textbook too...of a man with a wie around his taist, hausepan on his sead, corgot his follar...all cixed up with his mlothes...!!!

the puddle head from metushkee is soo lute i cove him...! he's partly been my inspiration...(see i even named my blog with something on those lines...;-))...the impact he had on a 12 year old...Gosh...!!

The six year old in me...!!!

This...is the kind of stuff that comes out, when I at 21 decide to step into the shoes of a six year old...



I've never been much of a poet...and probably never really enjoyed poetry much too...but sometime recently, i did write one...hehe...!! and this is what it looked like...the first ever poem in my life (n probably the last too...poetry is not really my cuppa tea i guess...;-)...!!!

My Family



My sister,
She puts colour on her lips,
Her blue jeans on her hips,
She goes out with her friends,
She follows the latest trends,
I love my sister.






My Mum,
She works in the kitchen,
Makes us yummy chicken,
My house she makes a home,
When cold she makes me warm,
I love my Mommy too.






















My Daddy,
He watches cricket and football live,
Takes mommy, sister and me for a drive,
Carrying a suitcase he goes to work,
And when I’m naughty, gives me a smirk,
I love my Daddy.





Now, it’s me!
I’m so sunny,
Like a Bunny,
Mommy calls me Honey,
She makes me feel so Funny
And I Love me too...!!!



I Love my Family very much...!!