Boredom n all...!!

Gone are the days when perplexity was the only thing I felt when people complained of being bored. I couldn’t for the life of me understand how it was that people 'could' feel bored...!! I just didn’t get how it was to be bored. It was with pride I bragged about finding happiness in the small little things one got to do nowhere else but at one’s home. But guess I’ve begun to feel it now as well...! And guess now I understand that it is possible to start feeling useless and wasted, and that it is possible for one to feel bored at one’s home sweet home itself. Just a few days back I’d thought that a random sms forward that read “who says IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING...?? I’ve done ‘nothing’ in the past few days and trust me, it is POSSIBLE” had been tailor-made for me, but guess I’ve proved myself wrong in a matter of just a few days now. And this I say is unbelievable...!! Simply because there have been days in the glorious past when I'd not so much as switched on the idiot box to seek out entertainment...(I’d never felt the need to...!) I didn’t have to look anywhere other than my daily mundane existence for the spice and the zing to keep me going. I used to just find it. Where’s all of that gone now...??!! Now I wake up...without a thing to do...the daily happenings happen without much variation in its course...I find some junk movie helping kill at least 3 hrs of the day...some trashy reality show (which in all likelihood has been scripted to ensure all the drama, catfights and hullabaloo that no situation in reality can present just keeps coming...!) and another aaand another...!!



The bored individual that I am now (officially certified n all) wouldn’t do anything to better the situation as well...!! Wouldn’t go out...wouldn’t read (where...where’s the damn reader in me gone...??!! dead or whatt...??!! haven’t read a single book in over a year now..!! why...whhyyy wouldn’t I...??!!)...and wouldn’t socialize...! (I’ve also now officially become a social recluse...!! I don’t wanna meet people...talk to people...chat with people...!! Texting is all I care to do...!! ) ...and wonderfully and astoundingly it appears, I’ve also lost the ability to fall in love... (Something that used to always be happening with me...!! light crushes that the person would never get to know of though ;) but no more now...!). I’m no more the compassionate individual that I guess once I used to be...and I realize that this isn’t exactly good and that this attitude would definitely not help me in the long run and that I need to change. But guessing (and having read that) realization in itself is a virtue and that self-realization is the first step to change, I hope this would just be a phase and that I would get over it ASAP...!!

Having started with the boredom newly started to feel, and the joy that I could feel things and that wasn’t I numb, I’ve digressed n talked about the new and changed (and degraded) self that I am now! But since this blog here’d been started also with the aim of an ultimate self-discovery and self-realization, guess it is really okie...!! :)